Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Villa Memories => Topic started by: Pete3206 on February 18, 2010, 11:30:30 PM
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Pretend the internet has been running since 1874.
What would have been some of the classic thread titles and topics we would have created?
Here's some to start:
'The new Villa boss is Josef Who?'
'Turner Go NOW!'
'McGrath AWOL again'
'Warren Aspinall - too fat to be a footballer'
'McInally has stabbed us in the back'
'Taylor bound for greatness with England'
'McNeill a great appointment for the club'
'The Holte End now £1 - money grabbing bastards'
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Normansell is still pulling the strings - gregnash
Tommy Cummings will get it right eventually - Chris Smith
Nobody's ever been relegated after finishing 18th with 38 points - Villadawg
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New red brick stand on Trinity Road too fancy for football.
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£500,000 on a 29-year old journeyman? Withe is a donkey and Saunders has taken us as far as he can.
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27-05-63 - Are we falling behind the Blues?
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1974 - Surely we can do better than Ron Saunders?
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Heroes Discussion (May 1982)
Ellis is still in charge
I don't care if we're European Champions - I'm sure Ellis is pulling the strings, and so I'm not going down the Villa. (Gregnash)
Match Threads (May 1990)
Everton v Aston Villa Match Thread
Does anyone know what ceefax page the teleprinter is on? (Countless posters)
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Summer 1981
How are we going to compete in the European Cup without signing Keegan, Maradona and Robson? (Me and others probably)
I was going to put Francis on that list but thought I'd be going too far!
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No good will ever come from moving away from Perry Barr to that new place on the Lower Grounds.
I'll bet you sixpence we'll never win the Double again.
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Why has Rambo stopped scoring goals since Xmas?
Who's the git in the Holte thats throwing bog roll on to the pitch as the teams come out?
Who saw the car going the wrong way on the motorway coming back from Spurs? (Or was it going there, i cant remember.....)
Either we sign bloody Le Tissier or we kill him. Why does he always score vs us?
Who saw Teale push Bozzie away for the free-kick?
I wish BFR would spend more time at VP and not on the telly.....
Why cant Dalian play like that every week?
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22-08-87
Losing to Small Heath is totally unacceptable, Taylor must go, we're certs for relegation to Division 3, he's out of his depth.
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Has he lost his mind wasting money on an alcoholic with dodgy knees?
We need the finished article, not some bloke from Crewe who nobody has ever heard of.
Much as I liked Sid, he'll never be the player he was the first time around.
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That McGregor fellow will never deserve a statue!
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Circa April 1957 a poster soon to be banned writes:
Any spare tickets to Wembley looking for a good home?
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H&V Petition to name the new witton lane stand "The Doug Ellis Stand"
Doug Ellis makes his first post ala general style confirming that he would be too modest to accept this petition and that he will be absent for a few weeks while he is patenting the bicycle kick
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I suspect that lot of 1970s threads would have been along these lines:
We battered Stoke at the services.
We ran Forest.
We took the Kippax.
99% of which would have been lies.
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20/09/1986
Describe H0dge in three words.
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Someone's on the fiddle - there were loads more than 76000 there - 2nd March 1946
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1968 Ellis is a visionary, we're blessed to have him.
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More nepotism. BH hostel superintendent's son to sign as a junior.
(1974)
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Tony Cascarino - The title is surely ours now!!
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Villa Cross Wesleyan Chapel Message Board
Re: Match v Aston Brook St. Mary's
Playing first half rugby; second half football. Anyone interested?
God-botherers trying to dictate our social lives again.
It's bad enough that they've founded most of the schools round here. Why can't they now just keep out of sport and recreation?
Well, I'm going to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. I'm off down the music hall instead.
Etc, etc for 37 pages.
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Cycle track removed, bit by bit Villa Park losing its idenity.
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H & V now on sale outside the ground - Will anyone buy it???
Sid Cowans - we will never win the league with him in the centre.
Now that Saunders has gone to Small Heath - Will they win the league?
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So, let me get this right. Joe Bache? Playing on the left? Do you understand the game you muppet?
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Dave Woodhall is now a media millionaire - Should we boycott H&V
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H&V 1972
Aston Villa v Santos Post Match Thread:
What a great win last night, i think that Pele is well overated, hes bone idle, he will never make it in the English League, i would rather have Pat McMahon any day.
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1970s - Left or right: which wrist do you tie your scarf around?
1980s - Where can I get an Austin Rover like Kevin Gage
August 1992 - Football begins today - how will you celebrate?
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Which side of the Holte is better? Left or Right you decide!
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After losing at home to Ipswich, 1981:
And that's why we'll never win the league
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After the 1st leg at Tranmere
Well we've blown it now. Where does BFR go from here?
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Singing "bullet, bullet-proof" at Tommy Ball is not just inappropriate it is blatantly untrue.
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David White - sign him up! Why havent we got a player like that?
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1875 - There's a new team in the Borough of Aston. Anyone else fancying watching them?
1888 - That's it. I'm right royally fecked off with watching nothing but friendlies. I know there's nothing we can do it about it but McGregor must go. Its his fault.
1901 - Why is it fair that a maximum weekly salary has been introduced? This is further proof that by giving the powers to the 'Football League' they are trying to water down our role as the biggest club int he world. But, you watch, us and Sunderland will rule the roost for years to come,. Centuries even.
1961 - Look its all well and good winning this League Cup thingy, but I have a feeling that if in 2010, or some such year, that is all we have to celebrate the Villa fans of the time (I think I'll be long gone by then!!!!) will be pissed off.
1988 - What a player Stuart Gray is!!!!! England and Villa regular for years to come!! Mark my words!!
1988 - David Who? Bloody Taylor is an idiot. You don't buy 4th division players and think they can suddenly play two levels higher. 9Actually i think I did say this...)
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Tiswas or Swap Shop?
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Villa will never get anywhere with mercenary foreigners like Ramsay and Hunter.
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This Ellis fellow is just a puppet.
Norman Smith is still pulling the strings.
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Where's the quality back-up Jimmy Rimmer needs?
How's a side like ours going to cope with a player like Pele?
Didier Six - Villa heading for the big time now.
Anyone know how many Wembley tickets we'll get after the Oxford game?
Ricardo Scimecca - future England captain.
I've got a bad feeling about the second replay (LC Final thread...)
Who would you rather have in a one-on-one situation - Shaw or Geddis?
Which was further away, Deano v Ipswich or Nicholl v Everton?
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26/05/82 Match Thread
Fuck, thats it, we may as well come home now. We lose one of the best keepers of all time and replace him with a lad from Chelmsford who has only made one appearance.
We never fucking have proper cover in important positions
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1980-81 season: FFS why doesn't Saunders EVER use his fucking squad?
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August 1981: We've only signed Andy bloody Blair, I can't see us winning anything this season.
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26/12/82
They'll never be a more often quoted date for the rest of our history that defines our darkest hour against the shite.
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Fuck, Ipswich are a far superior team than us and we've blown it now we've lost at home to them.
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For Maths Students everywhere! 110% please explain?
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Star Soccer - How come Forest are on every week?
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David Geddis...Discuss.
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I was listening to a bloke in the pub saying that in the fairly near future the league won't be Division 1/2/3/4, there'll some sort of elite divison (in a league their own for God's sake )called the "Premier League" (sounds like some sort of hotel chain to me), Div 2 will be called "The Championship "(yes really) and, get this, Divs 3 & 4 will be known as League 1 and League 2 (keep up will you...) Oh and there will be countless non-British players and managers at all levels..... and the England manager will be a foreigner.....
I'll have a pint of whatever he's having......
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After moving North of the Thames, I predict that Arsenal will always be regarded as "Franchise FC".
England v Hungary... this will be easy, especially with Merrick in goal.
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After the Arsenal match 1991-92 season
Did anyone see BFR jogging down the touchline parallel with Tony Daley during the first half?
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How long does it take to slide down the bank of the Witton End?
Chris Nicholl and Burrige's wife rumour......
Those Alphabetic half time scores, how accurate are they?
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1870 something... Claret & blue? What the f*** is wrong with the chocolate and brown kit we had last season? It'll never last.
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The bloke that climbed up the Holte End floodlight
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Have we really, really got any chance against United today? (could be used for both '57 & '94)
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Is Callaghan the new Morley?
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Why can't we have grass on our pitch? That green sand makes us a laughing stock.
Sid's broken leg: why the hell were we on a pre-season jolly in Spain anyway?
Poll: Fences down on the Holte and Witton ends. Good for bad for football?
Champions of Europe and one player in Greenwood's squad. Is he biased towards the big three (Liverpool, Ipswich & Forest)?
Poll: Will you buy a shirt with a sponsor's name on it?
New Villa shirt without a badge on it - WRONG. Ellis sort it out!
McParland - Wood. Legitimate challenge or violent play?
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"Doctor Findlay's case book"
An amusing Off Topic thread, where various posters list their ailments and marital break downs and our reserve keeper (actually of course regular poster "Didier Six shagged my mom") dishes out pearls of wisdom and experience whilst wearing tight shorts and dreaming of featuring in a team that destroys Liverpool 5 -1.
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1928 - A club like Aston Villa should not be signing lowly Tranmere Rovers players. This fellow Waring will be no good. If we have to sign Tranmere players we should go for that Ellis chap who claims to play for them.
Off Topic, 1963 - JFK Assassinated - was the Duke of Edinburgh involved?
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1993 Poll
Should we sell Tony Daley to Udinese?
1994
Hands up those who thought it was Justin Fashanu we'd signed.
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14 April 1981
I'm going to Corals in the morning and putting a pound on Ipswich to win the bloody thing now.
Would I get better odds if I just bet aginst the Villa ?
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1983 Villa V Barcelona match thread.
Was I seeing things or did the Barca keeper kick Cowans into the net?
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"Welcome - Billy McNeill"
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"Why European Cup is Mickey Mouse tournament" - by Greg Nash, 1982.
"Mrs Beckford has announced that she is pregnant, we should sign the foetus", by Coopers Injury - 1983
"Now dickhead Greenwood has overlooked Andrew Greaves" - everyone, 1982
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Frederick Rinder - Spend or Go.
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1982 Off Topic
Poll: Had you heard of The Falklands before the invasion?
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Robert Maxwell - why can't we have a Chairman like him?
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TECHNICAL SUPPORT
My Gramophone has stopped working
OFF TOPIC
Television - it'll never be as big as radio
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TW: Flares: 4 buttons or six?
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Hi guys, there's a few of us coming down on the Inter City from Glasgow for the friendly and we were wondering where would be good a place for a drink before the game?
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"Mrs Beckford has announced that she is pregnant, we should sign the foetus", by Coopers Injury - 1983
I like that one. I miss Coopers Injury a bit.
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Steve Hodge's Awesomeness.
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1889 - "George Ramsay doesn't have what it takes to get us to the next level."
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1874-perhaps if young men spent more time in chapel instead of hanging around under gaslights talking about goodness knows what,the county wouldnt be in the terrible state it is.
1889-forget ever trying to break into the big one,we are light years behind preston and can forget ever overhauling them.
1897-the directors are showing scant regard for the great traditions of our club,our clubs home is in perry barr and i have no intention of going to this bloody great souless monstrosity they are building on trinity road.
1957-great to have the cup back for a 7th time,weve won it more than anybody and in sure it wont be long before we get it for an eight time .
1967-what pub are the villa fans meeting in at Millwall on saturday?
1968-perhaps if these so called fans got behind the team instead of singing`the board must go`we might start winning,the directors have been there a long time and know what they are doing.
1976-i thought i was an optimist but the person whose predicting we can beat Liverpool by as much as 4-1 tonight must be mad,ill stake my life it wont be that score.
1982-we need goals tonight in Rotterdam,Withes goal last saturday against a poor swansea team was his first since march,we should play Geddis.Also for me Morley seems tired and we should replace him with Heard to fill the midfield to nullify the threat of Breitner.
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1982-we need goals tonight in Rotterdam,Withes goal last saturday against a poor swansea team was his first since march,we should play Geddis.Also for me Morley seems tired and we should replace him with Heard to fill the midfield to nullify the threat of Breitner.
PEDANT ALERT:
Swansea was a Friday night.
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1983: 'We completely out passed and outplayed Barcelona'.
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Im impressed dave,i just checked and your right Swansea was on a friday.Sorry,but my specialst area is 1971/72.A few seasons after this I had discovered beer and women and my recall of detail is more sketchy.
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I've never even heard of Antwerp/ Helsingborgs/ Trabzonspor/ Deportivo La Coruna, we'll win easily
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"Mrs Beckford has announced that she is pregnant, we should sign the foetus", by Coopers Injury - 1983
I like that one. I miss Coopers Injury a bit.
Good work in invoking the spirit of his quirky quoting style, too.
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Can't we unban him? Please.
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If Bari want want Platt, they can stump up or do one. We don't need the money.
I hope Ellis stands firm on this.
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August 80: Saunders best days are behind him, he's not kept up with the times, should've kept Gray, we'll win nothing without him.
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Can you hear the drums, Fernando?
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The Classical Music Top 1,000
'867 - Lorenzo Amadeus Obscurio - Sonata in A Flat Minor'
The Price (Of Things)
'Pah! A shilling for a loaf of bread, two fish and a chicken. It is a rip off. It is much cheaper here in Australia where our warden brings these things for free'
0% Villa: The greatest goal celebration I've seen
'And as you can see in this etching he just raised one arm. It's not like our players who shake hands dully'
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Will we ever see a black man in a Villa shirt?
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1989: So that's it then, the end of history now the Berlin wall has fallen.
We should faith in the market to sort out all our problems.
Are McGrath's best years behind him?
1993. I have a feeling the premier league era will be good to villa....
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1993. I have a feeling the premier league era will be good to villa....
Do you think it has? When was our last twenty consecutive years in the top flight?
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1993. I have a feeling the premier league era will be good to villa....
5th best overall.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-time_FA_Premier_League_table
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1993. I have a feeling the premier league era will be good to villa....
5th best overall.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-time_FA_Premier_League_table
It has been great but what I meant was, after coming second in its inaugural season, we probably would have thought we could win it or at least finish second again in all the seasons since. We wouldn't have anticipated that by now top four would be the holy grail....
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1993. I have a feeling the premier league era will be good to villa....
5th best overall.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-time_FA_Premier_League_table
We slip down to 8th on agerage points.....which about sums it up.
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1887
Regarding the new claret and blue kits, I think they are an abomination. What exactly was wrong with the green or the piebald?