BBC report club sacked a scout accused of sexual abuse 1988 but didn't report it

[CT]

Someone give me a shout when this gets back on topic.

[Villa75]

I'll leave it, whilst you all pretend you lived in a parallel universe to me in the 70's and 80's, if it makes you all feel better about yourselves.

Just try and give a thought to the real world Graham Taylor and I lived in, whilst you're erecting the scaffolds to hang his effigy and reputation on for not doing the 2017 thing in 1987.

[Chinchilla Bathhouse]

Are you leaving just this thread or the whole forum?  (Asking for a friend).

[Villa75]

Are you leaving just this thread or the whole forum?  (Asking for a friend).

Just this thread. Don't get too comfy. 

[purpletrousers]

I also have a very close friend who was 'touched up' (2017 child rape), by a 'dirty old man'. He did not want it known outside two of his two best friends and his parents. He did not want it broadcast, discussed, dissected, and he most certainly did not want it reported to the police. He told me he would rather commit suicide than have everyone know. Was that the best thing for society as a whole? No. Was it the 'right thing to do'? No. But it was what he wanted. He'd been violated once and, as he saw it, he didn't want it all happening again. I respected that then and, even with 2017 sensibilities, even now.
///

I'm going to leave this discussion here. There are too many people moralising with hindsight and 2017 sensibilities and don't have the level of understanding that nearly 50 years brings. These people are either, very young, very naive, or just being dishonest.

Because you were saying you were leaving it I didn't respond.

Your reasoning about your friend - who I'm sorry went through abuse - lacks some subtlety. I've had to report allegations of abuse against an alleged victims wishes, whilst I appreciate your stance, there is a difference between reporting and the world knowing, though I totally appreciate the mindset of your friend. We still report very old cases of abuse, for good reasons.

My original point was words and actions we thought were 'harmless' in the 70's and 80's are now considered 'racist', 'homophobic', etc. They were then, we just didn't think they were or purposely use them in that way. We were young and naive, often copying our elders.

Perhaps that's what's going on here. People are horrified at the thought they could ever be considered 'racist, etc. forgetting the jokes they told and the songs they sung, consciously or subconsciously.

I never called anyone a paki, chinky, etc. But I used the words in a different context.

I never insulted anyone directly due to their race, but I told and laughed at jokes that are now considered 'racist'.

I never harassed anyone due to their sexual orientation, but I called my mates 'poofs', 'queers', etc.

I'm amazed so many of you of a similar age and class experienced such a completely different way of life.

I think you've made fair points about different times and norms.

I'm getting quite tired of reading assumptions that everyone fitted the norms you perceive/d. If I was to say I didn't doesn't make me a liar. Some of us may not have been typical, or taken exception to norms back then. I challenged indirect conscious and unconscious racist terms in my parents and grandparents, etc etc. Had perhaps quite unusually developed senses of right and wrong.

It'd also be appreciated just to be a bit more respectful to folk. But I'm not a moderator and I think that about a lot of the discussions on here!

[Simon Page]

I don't know how it got to here, but here goes:

I've definitely used derogatory terms in the past and learned quickly not to. The one that gets to the heart of it for me is the grabbing a woman's arse. I never have, and it would never have occurred to me to. The reason is I grew up in a household - in the 70s - where my sister and mum had my utmost respect. It took nothing to extrapolate that to all women. Oddly, all the girls I got on with at primary and secondary school were strong individuals who I respected as such, so again it wouldn't have occurred to me. I used to get a right arse on when I came across misogyny even as a kid in the 70s and 80s. So it'd seem socialisation was the key and - especially where women are concerned - I was lucky enough to have a decent environment to learn from.

I'm not sure how this links to abuse. Rape, including child rape, was not something more acceptable in the way derogatory language was. It was less newsworthy and open to more shitty interpretation 30-40 years ago, but even in those times the dirty old man diddling boys was a no-no everywhere. The only contention in this, as far as I can see, was did GT and the Villa act according to the family wishes or did they push the family to have those wishes. I don't know either way as yet so I won't judge them for it.

What you called the local takeaway pales into insignificance in comparison.

[Dave Cooper please]

Well I grew (and still live in) a very working class area, and I did say many of those things, but that was when I was a kid, i grew up, I learned that those were not particularly nice things to say (a couple of times I learned the hard way), and I stopped saying them. Of course I then learned the hard way that it was also not the done thing to tell other people not to say them! Life is a bastard on the tough streets of West Brom sometimes!