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Author Topic: What's the best excuse you could come up with...  (Read 5083 times)

Offline oldtimernow

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What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« on: January 23, 2017, 12:56:04 PM »
McCormack’s latest excuse was that the gates outside of his house were stuck meaning that he couldn’t exit his property.


I would have rung in to say my fat arse is wedged in the toilet so I can't make training today

Online Dave P

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2017, 01:01:09 PM »
To be fair, that is probably what happened to Ross but he went for the less embarrassing excuse of the gates being stuck!

Offline robbo1874

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2017, 01:01:32 PM »
I'd have phoned my agent and got them to think of one. What else do I pay them for?

Offline LukeJames

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2017, 01:02:35 PM »
The gates on my mansion are forever getting stuck to be fair, you peasants dont know how inconvenient it can be!

Offline peter w

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2017, 01:08:49 PM »
Peasants? We're Villa fans. We all live in the shires. We know exactly how inconvenient it can be.

Offline ozzjim

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2017, 01:14:20 PM »
Speak for yourself.  The cone outside my house blocked me in today though.  Far too heavy to move.

Offline ADVILLAFAN

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2017, 01:19:40 PM »
Peasants? We're Villa fans. We all live in the shires. We know exactly how inconvenient it can be.

I mean honestly, doesn't Ross have a helipad? *scoffs*

Online Richard E

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2017, 01:24:50 PM »
'She told me she was 16, your honour.'

Offline CJ

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2017, 01:26:43 PM »
The only way I can get across the moat surrounding my property is by a boat towed by two Whooper swans. Confused by the unusually mild winter they've fucked off back to Iceland earlier than usual so I'm now stuck in my mock Tudor mansion with no means of getting out

Offline ClaretAndBlueBlood

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2017, 02:20:57 PM »
my butler forgot to wake me

Online ChicagoLion

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2017, 02:29:02 PM »
Went out, got drunk, met a bird, took her back to my place, woke up with my wallet gone and a message written on the bathroom mirror, "you couldn't even score an open goal you fat Scottish Wanker".


Honesty is the best policy.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 02:33:00 PM by ChicagoLion »

Offline ClaretAndBlueBlood

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  • Posts: 713
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2017, 03:03:08 PM »
Gabby told me we don't bother with training at this club

Offline oswald funkletrumpet

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2017, 04:21:18 PM »
My cock is far too big to fit in my trousers
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 04:47:10 PM by oswald funkletrumpet »

Online Richard E

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Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2017, 04:59:01 PM »
There was a guy who got done for kerb crawling in Wolverhampton in his camper van.

He alleged that he had only driven into the red light district to ask for directions to the Severn Valley Railway (which does not of course run anywhere near urban Wolverhampton) and that when the prostitute had asked him if he was "up for business" he thought she meant she was going to work, so he offered her a lift.

He was, amazingly, acquitted.

The fact that he was a JP may or may not have had something to do with it.

Offline cheltenhamlion

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  • Location: Pedmore, Stourbridge
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2017, 05:14:19 PM »
I shit myself on the bus and had to go back home to get changed (an excuse someone once used on me).

 


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