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Author Topic: WBA demolition job  (Read 3814 times)

Offline russon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3195
  • Location: Desolation Row
WBA demolition job
« on: December 20, 2016, 07:27:38 PM »
Can anyone signpost me to the masterful demolition of WBA written by Dave Woodhall a while back, might have been a decade or more. I'm hoping to share it with some folk on Boxing Day. It went on for pages and was superb (and truthful in every regard).

Offline PeterWithesShin

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  • GM : 17.03.2015
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2016, 07:47:20 PM »
There's some amateurism on here. Make way for some REAL reasons.

The fact that every time the Hawthorns gets near capacity they can't cope, the Alex Cropley game when they set out for ninety minutes to kick anything in claret and blue, Alan Baker, John Woodward, Ray Graydon, their sanctimonious holier-than-thou we're only a little team and we're going to enjoy ourselves everybody likes us attitude, the fact that their most famous supporter made a career out of humiliating their most famous ex-player - a man who it is now known was suffering from a degenerative brain disease, their absolute hatred of us (and me or Coops can supply a list of places to pop into before or after the match for anyone who thinks that they're all nice and friendly), the time we beat them 7-2 in a reserve match then in the return a month later they had nine of their first team playing because they couldn't bear losing again, their pretence of being nowhere near Birmingham despite their post code and phone number, their stupid jumping up and down and making twats of themselves in the name of atmosphere, letting the likes of Soccer AM makes fools of them and degrading all football supporters everywhere by implication, still going on about Ronnie Allen and 1959 like it's the most important thing to ever happen in their sad, woebegotten lives and it probably is, not being able to get a drink anywhere near the ground, constant whining of it ay fair and the world's against them, just watch tomorrow how many of them blame the referee for all seventeen of our goals, moaning that the local press are biased against them despite the fact that they've got more supporters in the media than us and Small Heath put together, Adrian Chiles, Skinner again, endlessly complaining that they would have won the league in 1979 if the weather hadn't turned cold in January like it wasn't the same for every other club in the first division, bleating on and on and on about how loyal they are just because their crowds didn't get as low as the Wolves like that makes any difference, having the highest percentage of middle aged fat blokes walking round supermarkets in football shirts of anywhere in the world including Newcastle, having a civic reception for finishing third in the third division, showing Ossie Ardiles what Smethwick looks like from the top of a double decker bus then wondering why he fucked off the next week, every time a player leaves them they always moan he's only gone for the money even when they're swapping Smethwick for Madrid, Willie Johnstone, that bloody stupid bird stuck on the top of the scoreboard, those executive boxes with corrugated iron roofs, playing the Liquidator just like their big bad rivals in the Stadium of Yellow, that stupid metal sheeting at the back of the old away end that meant I missed every goal when we were three up at half time there, having to play in the morning in the FA Cup 1990, the half time message in the second division "Will Villa supporters please move forward, there are still some trying to get in", boasting about giving a policeman brain damage at Villa Park in 1978 but they're still nice & friendly, being surrounded by the bastards in the Witton Lane stand in 1974, never enough buses back down Holyhead Road, being the only local league club to insist on playing Birmingham Senior Cup games at home and thus depriving the local non-league teams of a decent gate, thinking they have a God-given right to park anywhere they like and moaning when they get tickets for parking on double yellow lines, you can bet there'll be more face paint and stupid wigs per supporter than at any other ground in the country and I include Newcastle in that again, the six wankers shouting their gobs off on the bus when I was going back home after the game in 1982, the very quiet one who was left when his five mates got off, the 1887 cup final when they planned to get the train back via Worcester to avoid travelling through Birmingham with the cup, except the cup went straight back to Aston without them ha fucking ha, coming up and saying that they weren't going to spend any money because they wanted to go straight back down and use the parachute payments to get back again, Skinner and Chiles walking up and down Witton Lane looking for camera crews, making out Bryan Robson was a returning hero when they'd hated him ever since he left, forgetting now that they wanted him hung a month after he became manager, the day they stayed up and reckoned everybody in the country loves them because they're such a nice inoffensive club with wonderful fans, having to get coaches to come three miles down Island Road, that fucking sanctimonious Grorty Dick fanzine that used to call us arrogant yet made out that they were such a big club, then had a celebration issue when they beat us in a youth match I kid you not, being the only Villa supporter in a school of 1,600 of the bastards when they didn't care about Wolves, getting a manager sacked because of a low crowd for a pre-season friendly, Alex Cropley again, Eric Clapton and I'm sure UB40 used to say they supported them when they were good, the fucking Albion that is not UB40, having their end named after a city they hate, an evening paper that treats playing Manchester United in the league in the same patronising way that Kidderminster Harriers would get in the FA Cup, Jim Cumbes dropping down two divisions because our crowds were bigger, treating reserve matches as something really big and important, having a shopping centre in the town and gates at their ground named after a player who scored in a cup final and cost England the World Cup, this supposed 'big club' making a fuss of winning the third division play-offs, Terry Wills who although he is a very nice man should be told that he does not have to go on every radio station after every match,asking us to play friendlies and still treating our supporters like shit, wanting every manager sacked after three defeats, Bob Taylor, every one of their supporters over fifty was at the ground when they relegated us in 1959 and will talk forever about it but none of them remembers us stopping them winning the league four years earlier, you're not telling me it's a coincidence that Alistair Fucking Brown got a job working for them after his thuggish career was mercifully brought to an end, knowing more about how Bayern Munich should have won the European Cup in 1982 than Bayern Munich do, my irritating little shit of a cousin who used to support Manchester United then got a season ticket up there when they got into the Premier League, including Prisoner 820468 Hughes, L, in a book called Cult Heroes and I bet the family of the bloke he killed have got a better and similar description for him, some knobhead I heard saying all he wanted to do when they went down was come back up win the cup and kick fuck out the Villa then talked about football for ten minutes and never once went off the subject of how much he hates us, I bet that Everton fan they blinded thinks they're lovely, a town centre where the best pub is a Wetherspoon's and the best restaurant is McDonalds, how every time we beat them and there's a lot to choose from they always complain that they'd rather lose than play like us like they have a choice, putting reserve teams out in games they're going to lose anyway but it's alright for them to do it, every time they come up saying they don't intend to spend any money because we're only a little team and we're doing ever so well to be here in the first place, Tony Mowbray always claiming moral victories..

Offline oswald funkletrumpet

  • Member
  • Posts: 2157
  • Location: Hayley Green
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2016, 07:59:31 PM »
Great piece but lacks focus

Offline wittonwarrior

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  • Posts: 4610
  • Age: 63
  • Location: Knotty Ash (really)
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2016, 08:02:20 PM »
Just say you don't like them.  That would do nicely - horrible stripey scruffy inbreds.

Offline russon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3195
  • Location: Desolation Row
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2016, 08:04:33 PM »
There's some amateurism on here. Make way for some REAL reasons.

The fact that every time the Hawthorns gets near capacity they can't cope, the Alex Cropley game when they set out for ninety minutes to kick anything in claret and blue, Alan Baker, John Woodward, Ray Graydon, their sanctimonious holier-than-thou we're only a little team and we're going to enjoy ourselves everybody likes us attitude, the fact that their most famous supporter made a career out of humiliating their most famous ex-player - a man who it is now known was suffering from a degenerative brain disease, their absolute hatred of us (and me or Coops can supply a list of places to pop into before or after the match for anyone who thinks that they're all nice and friendly), the time we beat them 7-2 in a reserve match then in the return a month later they had nine of their first team playing because they couldn't bear losing again, their pretence of being nowhere near Birmingham despite their post code and phone number, their stupid jumping up and down and making twats of themselves in the name of atmosphere, letting the likes of Soccer AM makes fools of them and degrading all football supporters everywhere by implication, still going on about Ronnie Allen and 1959 like it's the most important thing to ever happen in their sad, woebegotten lives and it probably is, not being able to get a drink anywhere near the ground, constant whining of it ay fair and the world's against them, just watch tomorrow how many of them blame the referee for all seventeen of our goals, moaning that the local press are biased against them despite the fact that they've got more supporters in the media than us and Small Heath put together, Adrian Chiles, Skinner again, endlessly complaining that they would have won the league in 1979 if the weather hadn't turned cold in January like it wasn't the same for every other club in the first division, bleating on and on and on about how loyal they are just because their crowds didn't get as low as the Wolves like that makes any difference, having the highest percentage of middle aged fat blokes walking round supermarkets in football shirts of anywhere in the world including Newcastle, having a civic reception for finishing third in the third division, showing Ossie Ardiles what Smethwick looks like from the top of a double decker bus then wondering why he fucked off the next week, every time a player leaves them they always moan he's only gone for the money even when they're swapping Smethwick for Madrid, Willie Johnstone, that bloody stupid bird stuck on the top of the scoreboard, those executive boxes with corrugated iron roofs, playing the Liquidator just like their big bad rivals in the Stadium of Yellow, that stupid metal sheeting at the back of the old away end that meant I missed every goal when we were three up at half time there, having to play in the morning in the FA Cup 1990, the half time message in the second division "Will Villa supporters please move forward, there are still some trying to get in", boasting about giving a policeman brain damage at Villa Park in 1978 but they're still nice & friendly, being surrounded by the bastards in the Witton Lane stand in 1974, never enough buses back down Holyhead Road, being the only local league club to insist on playing Birmingham Senior Cup games at home and thus depriving the local non-league teams of a decent gate, thinking they have a God-given right to park anywhere they like and moaning when they get tickets for parking on double yellow lines, you can bet there'll be more face paint and stupid wigs per supporter than at any other ground in the country and I include Newcastle in that again, the six wankers shouting their gobs off on the bus when I was going back home after the game in 1982, the very quiet one who was left when his five mates got off, the 1887 cup final when they planned to get the train back via Worcester to avoid travelling through Birmingham with the cup, except the cup went straight back to Aston without them ha fucking ha, coming up and saying that they weren't going to spend any money because they wanted to go straight back down and use the parachute payments to get back again, Skinner and Chiles walking up and down Witton Lane looking for camera crews, making out Bryan Robson was a returning hero when they'd hated him ever since he left, forgetting now that they wanted him hung a month after he became manager, the day they stayed up and reckoned everybody in the country loves them because they're such a nice inoffensive club with wonderful fans, having to get coaches to come three miles down Island Road, that fucking sanctimonious Grorty Dick fanzine that used to call us arrogant yet made out that they were such a big club, then had a celebration issue when they beat us in a youth match I kid you not, being the only Villa supporter in a school of 1,600 of the bastards when they didn't care about Wolves, getting a manager sacked because of a low crowd for a pre-season friendly, Alex Cropley again, Eric Clapton and I'm sure UB40 used to say they supported them when they were good, the fucking Albion that is not UB40, having their end named after a city they hate, an evening paper that treats playing Manchester United in the league in the same patronising way that Kidderminster Harriers would get in the FA Cup, Jim Cumbes dropping down two divisions because our crowds were bigger, treating reserve matches as something really big and important, having a shopping centre in the town and gates at their ground named after a player who scored in a cup final and cost England the World Cup, this supposed 'big club' making a fuss of winning the third division play-offs, Terry Wills who although he is a very nice man should be told that he does not have to go on every radio station after every match,asking us to play friendlies and still treating our supporters like shit, wanting every manager sacked after three defeats, Bob Taylor, every one of their supporters over fifty was at the ground when they relegated us in 1959 and will talk forever about it but none of them remembers us stopping them winning the league four years earlier, you're not telling me it's a coincidence that Alistair Fucking Brown got a job working for them after his thuggish career was mercifully brought to an end, knowing more about how Bayern Munich should have won the European Cup in 1982 than Bayern Munich do, my irritating little shit of a cousin who used to support Manchester United then got a season ticket up there when they got into the Premier League, including Prisoner 820468 Hughes, L, in a book called Cult Heroes and I bet the family of the bloke he killed have got a better and similar description for him, some knobhead I heard saying all he wanted to do when they went down was come back up win the cup and kick fuck out the Villa then talked about football for ten minutes and never once went off the subject of how much he hates us, I bet that Everton fan they blinded thinks they're lovely, a town centre where the best pub is a Wetherspoon's and the best restaurant is McDonalds, how every time we beat them and there's a lot to choose from they always complain that they'd rather lose than play like us like they have a choice, putting reserve teams out in games they're going to lose anyway but it's alright for them to do it, every time they come up saying they don't intend to spend any money because we're only a little team and we're doing ever so well to be here in the first place, Tony Mowbray always claiming moral victories..
thanks very much, priceless material, love the way it ends with dot dot dot as if there's plenty more where that came from and he was just warming up!

Offline peter w

  • Member
  • Posts: 35469
  • Location: Istanbul
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2016, 08:06:48 PM »
Great rant. There was also a brilliant rant from someone else calling them a tin pot club.

Offline wittonwarrior

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  • Age: 63
  • Location: Knotty Ash (really)
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2016, 08:07:16 PM »
oh I do like to be , beside the seaside.

To me  a few  supporters and  I mean a few who would love to be the Villa.  They are like the Netto's  of football clubs never going to make  it.

Offline PeterWithesShin

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  • Posts: 67366
  • GM : 17.03.2015
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2016, 08:08:07 PM »
Great rant. There was also a brilliant rant from someone else calling them a tin pot club.

That doesn't help as it covers what 99.9% of the people that have heard of them say.

Offline oswald funkletrumpet

  • Member
  • Posts: 2157
  • Location: Hayley Green
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2016, 08:20:38 PM »
oh I do like to be , beside the seaside.

To me  a few  supporters and  I mean a few who would love to be the Villa.  They are like the Netto's  of football clubs never going to make  it.

Netto? Behave

More of a londis or mace

Offline The Edge

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  • *
  • Posts: 6019
  • Location: I can see villa park from my bedroom window
  • GM : PCM
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2016, 08:34:34 PM »
oh I do like to be , beside the seaside.

To me  a few  supporters and  I mean a few who would love to be the Villa.  They are like the Netto's  of football clubs never going to make  it.

Netto? Behave

More of a londis or mace
Costcutter or Poundland. Much more suitable for those Smethwick tramps.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2016, 08:37:45 PM by The Edge »

Offline wittonwarrior

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  • Location: Knotty Ash (really)
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2016, 10:17:01 PM »
Although like 99.9% of all villa fans my dislike for the blues is intense, I dispose Albion.  They are wannabe blues off the pitch and so jealous of Villa as a club. I dislike the media sucking up to them as the great underdog and don't be started on their celeb fans

Offline russon

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Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2016, 10:23:37 PM »
Although like 99.9% of all villa fans my dislike for the blues is intense, I dispose Albion.  They are wannabe blues off the pitch and so jealous of Villa as a club. I dislike the media sucking up to them as the great underdog and don't be started on their celeb fans
i'm with you brother, we're the 0.1% (not that i'll be posting Blues a Christmas card mind you).

Offline brentastonb6

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Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2016, 12:30:07 AM »
Unfortunately coming from a school of 1800 ( Hodge Hill , Birmingham) where the only person supporting Albion was one token teacher they have and never will be big on my radar, I know they love us with a passion and in return I always say to them that they are a lovely little club... always leaves me feeling fine and them patronised as they should be as our tiny little cousins  :)

Offline rob_bridge

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Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2016, 07:22:58 AM »
I think the most famous fan dining out on making fun of their most famous player sums em up

Still not as bad as The Noses mind. I doubt they ever can be.

Offline ldavfc4eva

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  • Location: Standing at the station, in need of education
Re: WBA demolition job
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2016, 07:30:38 AM »
Made me laugh a fair few times, nice piece that Dave.

 


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