Questions From Newcastle Fans

[PeterWithesShin]

Nothing cracks me up more than Newcastle fans talking about attendances. They conveniently forget finding 35K fans down the back of the sofa in the 90s. Average attendance of less than 17K in 1991, 51K in 2001.

No wonder they still play in black and white as that's what the TV coverage of their last trophy is.

/endbantz

[Richard E]

I’ve just had a look at the toonforum site. The original poster asked for suggestions for questions to ask us - here are some of the responses:

• What are your thoughts on Tim Sherwood being a s*** manager and getting you relegated?
• Which derby are you looking forward to most next season, Wolves or Birmingham?
• Who's your next messiah, Stan Collymore or Richard Hammond?
• Why is it that you are the biggest bunch of cronuts in football?
• Why are your attendances so poor that they make Sunderland look like a well supported club?
• Will there be many tickets left for the match on 24 May so we can come and watch you get relegated?
• Sherwood said he would only consider a top job after leaving Spurs, what do you think made him change his mind?
• What are your feelings towards Darren Bent after he took the step up to join Derby last month?

Another comment was "Horrific club, horrific fans. No club deserves relegation more."

Looks like they still haven't got over 2009!

Shame.

They could have asked us:-

What is it like winning the European Cup?
What does it feel like when your last trophy success was on colour rather than black and white TV?
Have you got any Police horses we can bother?
 

[DeKuip]

1 – Where do you think you’ll finish this season? What about Newcastle? Wembley. Not sure about Newcastle, but it'll be the week before we finish.
2 – What are your thoughts on Tim Sherwood? Clueless judging by last week's game. As good a manager as Alan Shearer probably
3 – Is your lack of goals due to not creating chances? Or just from being poor in front of goal? It's a protest against the introduction of goal-line technology
4 – Do you think the club should have kept Darren Bent? We kept him longer than he deserved
5 – If you could have one football player, past or present, live in your spare room who would it be and why? Damien Duff. Imagine the fun we could all have laughing about that own goal.
6 – Who do you think will be the three clubs to get relegated? And who will make up the top four?A Midlands club, Burnley & QPR. Usual names at the top.
7 – If your club was a biscuit, what biscuit would it be? And why would it be that biscuit? Cadbury Dairy Milk Golden Crunch. Because Cadburys chocolate is mined locally.
8 – What is the general mood among Villa fans? Has it contributed to falling home attendances? Content. Life doesn't get better than winning the European Cup, everything after that is just passing time really.
9 – Have Newcastle made a mistake by waiting until the summer to appoint a permanent manager? Your mistake was not appointing Ant or Dec when we told you to.
10 – Scoreline prediction? Deluded barcode wearers 0 The Villa 2.

[dave.woodhall]

Newcastle fans are always asking these questions then slagging the answers. They are very important indeed.

[freethinker]

Is Richard Hammond even a Villa fan anyway? The only photo I could find of him wearing a football kit was this:

[supertom]

Is Richard Hammond even a Villa fan anyway? The only photo I could find of him wearing a football kit was this:

I don't think any of the Top Gear lot like football at all.

[Chico Hamilton III]

I've got a feeling that Clarkson is a Doncaster Rovers fan. In the same sense that David Cameron is a Villa fan....

[LionVilla]

Newcastle are a big club based on 50k or so who turn up every other week. It's a shame that the team has won fuck all over their history to pay the fans back.

[adrenachrome]

I've got a feeling that Clarkson is a Doncaster Rovers fan. In the same sense that David Cameron is a Villa fan....

Says he is a Chelsea London fan (he is not sure if there are any other Chelseas)  purely because of his son's interest. From the horse's immense mouth:

All of my life, I have cursed the amount of space taken up on the box by football. "Why", I wailed, "is anyone interested in these nancy boys kicking an inflated sheep's pancreas round a field? It is not interesting."

But then, one day, my wife gave birth to a boy who, for no genetic reason that anyone can fully understand, has grown to be fanatically interested in the fortunes of Chelsea. And, of course, that sort of means I've had to get fanatically interested as well.

[rob_bridge]

I've got a feeling that Clarkson is a Doncaster Rovers fan. In the same sense that David Cameron is a Villa fan....

Says he is a Chelsea London fan (he is not sure if there are any other Chelseas)  purely because of his son's interest. From the horse's immense mouth:

All of my life, I have cursed the amount of space taken up on the box by football. "Why", I wailed, "is anyone interested in these nancy boys kicking an inflated sheep's pancreas round a field? It is not interesting."

But then, one day, my wife gave birth to a boy who, for no genetic reason that anyone can fully understand, has grown to be fanatically interested in the fortunes of Chelsea. And, of course, that sort of means I've had to get fanatically interested as well.

Son of bigoted racist likes a team with lots of bigoted racist fans. Stands to reason.

[Exeter 77]

Is Richard Hammond even a Villa fan anyway? The only photo I could find of him wearing a football kit was this:

I don't think any of the Top Gear lot like football at all.

Just after that they all put Middlesbrough shirts on because that picture was taken at the Riverside.

[Exeter 77]

Sorry for double quote - having trouble with quotes on a tablet.

[PeterWithesShin]

Tidied it up for you.

[Exeter 77]

Thanks

[supertom]

Is Richard Hammond even a Villa fan anyway? The only photo I could find of him wearing a football kit was this:

I don't think any of the Top Gear lot like football at all.

Just after that they all put Middlesbrough shirts on because that picture was taken at the Riverside.

Ah yes. I remember that now. Highly amusing (or not).