OK. Let's give this a try.
Imagine you are a journo and the your editor comes strolling in and says "Could you do the 5 Things You've Learned about Villa bollox , matey? Matt has gone for a manicure. Shouldn't take longer than 15 mins, a chap of your cal eye burr!".
What would be the five things you learned?
The first person to write Villa are shit 5 times, or variants thereof, will be awarded The GregNash Memorial Prize, a signed photo of The Blessed Martin.