Catch up with Darren Bent as he shows off his fantastic finishing skills.
Gabby Agbonlahor will demonstrate his demon speed and commitment to the cause.
Richard Dunne and Shay Given will not let anything pass as they show off their awesome stopping ability.
Emile Heskey will display his ability to inexplicably fall over with no one anywhere near him.
Stilian Petrov will show his amazing aptitude to sweat twenty gallons in a single morning.
Habib Beye will demonstrate his skill at sitting on the bench counting his money.
Barry Bannan will be substituted after an hour.
COMPETITIONS INCLUDE:
Who can do a later tackle than Stephen Warnock?
Pass The Parcel To The Opposition.
Pin the Blame on the Houllier.
Glamorous (And Not At All Dead) Grannies (judged by Stephen Ireland)
Competitive Eating Contest (featuring Richard Dunne)
Hunt the Manager (with Mr Faulkner)
PLUS!!
Enjoy a free counselling session with Stephen Ireland!
Laugh yourself silly with Live Stand Up Comedy from General Krulak!
Anti-Small Heath Karaoke!
All You Can Eat Buffet (featuring Richard Dunne)
AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!
Sorry to be cynical. Couldn't help myself.