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Author Topic: NOT The Generals thread  (Read 46360 times)

Offline Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #15 on: July 21, 2011, 03:55:08 PM »
General,

Would it be OK if I miss the trip to Hong Kong as my grandmother has died (again).

Yours Sincerely,

S. Ireland

Offline Rip Van We Go Again

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2011, 03:58:12 PM »
General krulak here:

1. Mazrim - As the Monkees once sang 'Baby you can have my car' !

2. Olneythebenty - I do not believe that there will ever be a boy born faster than a shark. Let me ask our head of security for clarification.

3. PeterWithesShin - I'm afraid the whole Star Trek thing passed me by, when the first series was being aired I was out in Saigon smelling Napalm and Cheerios every morning.

4. Tokyo Sexwhale - I can assure you that Nicola Keye won't do 'that', no she won't do 'that'.

5. Vancouver - REST ASSURED that Randy and the board will leave no stone unturned in their efforts to keep the pies hot. Randy has a tattoo of a Balti pie on his inner thigh, How many Villa supporters can say THAT?


Offline Villa'Zawg

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2011, 03:59:07 PM »
Hi General,

Why are the holes in a cat's fur always in the right place for their eyes?

Offline TheSandman

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2011, 04:01:25 PM »
General:

What is better an owl or a gibbon? Could either beat a badger in a fight?

Offline Mazrim

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #19 on: July 21, 2011, 04:07:23 PM »
General.
Why was the Japanese King Kong so much larger than the western version and thus a fair fight for Godzilla. Also, could this be Paul Faulkner's fault in some way?

Offline Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #20 on: July 21, 2011, 04:09:36 PM »
General,

Have you got a vacancy for a programme editor?

Yours Insincerely,

Rebekah

Offline Rip Van We Go Again

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #21 on: July 21, 2011, 04:11:19 PM »
General krulak here:

1. Villadawg - You and I have been over this cat issue many times, but you seem determined to shit in my apple pie over it, i've clearly stated my opinon on more than one occasion regarding cats, there are really only so many ways I can give you the same answer.

2. TheBentman - During my US service I had very little to do with owls and gibbons,  but during one mission I had a nasty incident with a badger that made off with a box of Oreo's. It took no little effort to kick it to death after I caught it, so Badger's are tough little guys in my book.

3. Mazrim - You come out with a staement 'The Japanese King Kong was so much larger than the western version' as if I and the club have NEVER stopped to ponder the answer. Believe me, there IS NO EASY ANSWER. Every effort has been made by our commercial department to generate a viable answer, but it takes time.
YOU are impatient to know the answer regarding King Kongs size, WE GET THIS, RANDY GETS THIS, THE BOARD GETS THIS.

Offline villasjf

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #22 on: July 21, 2011, 04:17:06 PM »
General krulak here:

1. Not3bad - Good to hear that you're so happy with our efforts that you're speaking in tongues. Top guy!

2. Breezebent - I have said on NUMEROUS OCCASIONS that I can and will not get into any dialogue about woodchucks. On too many occasions i've ended up 'burnt' by the local media on this one.

3. Morriseybentybenty - I have raised the issue of 'stinky piss' with our catering Manager regarding asparagus, he's promised me an answer in the next couple of days.
Excellent just excellent

Offline Summers

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #23 on: July 21, 2011, 04:21:24 PM »
General krulak here:


3. Mazrim - You come out with a staement 'The Japanese King Kong was so much larger than the western version' as if I and the club have NEVER stopped to ponder the answer. Believe me, there IS NO EASY ANSWER. Every effort has been made by our commercial department to generate a viable answer, but it takes time.
YOU are impatient to know the answer regarding King Kongs size, WE GET THIS, RANDY GETS THIS, THE BOARD GETS THIS.

Holy fuck, that's amazing. Hahahaha.

Offline Dave Clark Five

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #24 on: July 21, 2011, 04:22:17 PM »
Each new question in a new topic, please.

Offline villajk

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #25 on: July 21, 2011, 04:29:15 PM »
General,

Is there anything to stop the tears rolling down my cheeks from reading this?  They're smudging my mascara.  Incidentally, who should I speak to at Villa Park about claret and blue mascara?


Offline Jimbo

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #26 on: July 21, 2011, 04:39:08 PM »
General, I asked you five years ago when I first moved to Dubai why I couldn't find a Villa top in the local version of Sports Direct. You said I would soon see a shirt flying like a flag from the top of the Burj Khalifa, and that I would be able to see Sheikh Mohammed himself riding down Sheikh Zayed Road in a claret and blue dishdash. You promised me there would be more Villa shirts in the Middle East than meat shawarmas. But here we are, five years later, and I haven't seen a single shirt. I'm beginning to doubt Randy's commitment. And I'm seriously considering cancelling my subscription to Orbit TV.

Offline Lucky Eddie

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #27 on: July 21, 2011, 04:43:31 PM »
General is it true that you can say 'Ken Dodd's Dad's dog's dead' after six pints?

Online Rudy Can't Fail

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #28 on: July 21, 2011, 04:48:14 PM »
General, why have we only signed one player in the transfer window yet Liverpool have signed 4 and spent £100m. Tevez at Man City is available for £40m and I think he would be a great addition to the squad. I really can't understand why Lerner is messing about with my club. I don't give a sh*t about his tattoo, he needs to put his money where his mouth is. You say "action speaks louder than word", well what are you waiting for, sign him NOW!! If you don't it will be a clear sign the club lacks ambition and Lerner is just using the club to make money. Don't give me your spin about the wage bill, Lerner has billions, why doesn't he spend it all now, I can't understand what he playing at.

Offline Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle

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Re: NOT The Generals thread
« Reply #29 on: July 21, 2011, 04:49:34 PM »
General,
I need to book a holiday. What round of the cup competitions are we falling on our swords this season?

 


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