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Steve Sidwell - An alternative eulogy

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Sam Smith:
Here is a link to the Villa website and their goodbye note to Steve Sidwell. It is laughable so I have penned one of my own;

 http://www.avfc.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10265~2261346,00.html

Villa is pleased to announce they have finally offloaded Steve Sidwell to a Fulham side seemingly more desperate than we are.

We have lost a fortune on him.

Normally we would wish departing players all the best for the future but his derisory contribution doesn't warrant such eulogies.

Steve has only produced three moments of note during his Villa career. A superfluous 4th at Wigan in his first season when the game was won and a sublime strike at Everton after 34 seconds that was his final contribution to the game. If that sounds a paltry contribution in a season where he 'earnt' £2.5 million quid amazingly his contribution in his second season at Villa Park was even less significant.

Whilst pointlessly warming up Steve quickly threw the ball to James Milner who delightfully lobbed the keeper. A moment which likely sealed Milner's move to Man City. Good work Steve.

Having failed to impress the previous manager the new one seems even less enamoured. In the midst of the clubs most depressing run in living memory Steve finds himself 7th in line for a start behind a two untried kids, a centre half and a player returning from a career threatening injury.

Steve makes it into the 'worst signings in Villa's history' 11 playing at the base of a diamond midfield formation with Nigel Callaghan, Sasa Curcic and Gary Penrice.

At a cost of £11.25 million Steve has cost the equivalent of 450'000 adult customers, this equates to 11.8 home games.

On a positive note, the £1.5 million we have saved represents the first in a long line of cost cutting measures which should secure the clubs future when the inevitable relegation to the Championship occurs.

There is an appropriate word which can be generically applied to the modern footballer. You all know it, it is deemed offensive, if you are in company keep it to yourself.
 

Villa'Zawg:


I prefer the one on the official site, thanks for the link.


Steve Sidwell has joined Fulham for an undisclosed fee.

The midfielder signed for the Cottagers after spending two-and-a-half years at Villa Park.

Villa would like to wish Steve all the best for the future.

Sidwell's debut campaign in claret and blue was disrupted by injuries - although he produced two moments which will long be savoured by Villa supporters.

He scored on his league debut for the club after going on as a late substitute in the 4-0 win at Wigan Athletic and then hit the Premier League's fastest goal of the season after just 31 seconds of the dramatic 3-2 success at Everton.

He didn't make as many appearances as he would have liked last season - and this was due to the exemplary performances of Stan Petrov and James Milner in the central ground.

After making numerous starts in pre-season, most notably during the Peace Cup success, Sidwell was mainly used as a super sub for much of the top-flight campaign.

And he certainly justified that billing with a bit of quick thinking on the touchline in the game against Hull at Villa Park.

Picking the ball up after it had gone out of play, the quick-thinking midfielder threw it to Gabby Agbonlahor who fed Milner. The central star lobbed the goalkeeper to make the score 2-0 and set Villa up for the victory.

Sidwell joined Villa from Chelsea in the summer of 2008

pauliewalnuts:
"Super sub" my arse.

adam#1:
Interesting stats you raise. Its not Sidwell's fault that he hardly played and made much meaningful contribution to the game (I'm sure he's always tried his best), but it does highlight the nonsense that football finances are in.

Nice bloke apparently, according to someone I knew who looked after his cars when he was at Reading. He is probably better suited at a top level championship club given his abilities. He should have stayed with us!

pauliewalnuts:

--- Quote from: adam#1 on January 11, 2011, 10:29:00 AM ---Interesting stats you raise. Its not Sidwell's fault that he hardly played and made much meaningful contribution to the game (I'm sure he's always tried his best), but it does highlight the nonsense that football finances are in.


--- End quote ---

Why isn't it his fault if he made hardly any contribution?

I struggle to think of a more consistently anonymous player whilst on the pitch in all the time I've been supporting Villa. If that's because he's not up to much, then I don't really know whose fault it is if it isn't his.

Still, he's a nice chap, so well worth his 40k a week for 3 years.

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