I forgot the legend which is Tony Hateley from my list of opiate strikers given to the fans. He was useless at everything except being bought and sold. We bought him from Chelsea I think (don't forget i work without a safety net) for £100K and sold him having done nothing for us for the same sum to Liverpool.
The most memorable thing about Tony Hately was his ugliness. I was with a bunch of Villa fans roaming around London prior to a Chelsea or Fulham game. Anyroadup we were all walking across one of the bridges over he Thames when this really ugly bird with billiard table legs, jet black flattened hair and a face like a half cooked nan bread walked past on the other side of the bridge. As one our lads burst into "One Tony Hateley".
Sorry Brian, but I must stick up for Tony Hateley. You are right that he wasn't the most handsome player we ever had, but boy, could he head a ball. This was partly due to having a completely flat forehead reminiscent of Karloff's Frankenstien's monster.
We bought him from Notts County and in the 3 years he was at Villa Park, (I see from Wiki) he scored 68 goals in 127 games. Not exactly "done nothing" at least by today's standards. Most were scored with his head as his feet were pretty much just for standing on, or tripping over when in front of goal. Those he did score with his feet were usually put on a plate by Phil Woosnam.
His career nosedived after we sold him to Chelsea, and he was shunted around half a dozen clubs, finishing up at Oldham Athletic.
I remember seeing him play for Small Heath at the Sty, where he was jeered off the pitch by his own fans after being sent off for throwing a handfull of mud at the referee. It was a sad end to for one of my boyhood heroes. Still the best header of the ball I've ever seen.