0% Villa - Allardyce 'I should be managing Real or Inter.'

[KevinGage]

Big Sam today:

I'm having a little pink cupcake and a cup of tea. In a real china cup. I'm like Hyacinth fucking Bucket. Big Sam is as elegant as fuck.

He'd be perfect for Spain.

[TheSandman]

I Could Play Freddie Mercury, Claims Allardyce

Blackburn manager Sam Allardyce has continued his extraordinary public breakdown by insisting he is the perfect candidate to play Freddie Mercury in an upcoming film about Queen.

Allardyce, who left the world of football open-mouthed in disbelief on Friday when he claimed that he could manage Real Madrid despite presiding over a style of play that is the footballing equivalent of a backstreet abortion, has issued a come and get me plea to Brian May and Roger Taylor, who are overseeing the project.

“Much like me, Freddie was a man’s man,” said Allardyce. “He was a performer, a showman. Why do you think twenty odd thousand people come to Ewood Park every other week?”

“It sure as shit isn’t for the football, I can guarantee you that. They come to see me strutting around the technical area in the same way that Freddie used to strut around the stage.”
Queen Movie

Allardyce has urged May and Taylor to reconsider the decision to cast Sacha Baron Cohen in the role of Freddie Mercury, something he considers would be a huge mistake.

“Sacha is a Girl’s name for starters,” He insisted. “It would be an insult to Freddie’s memory.”

“There’s only two people on this Earth who could exude the required high levels of masculinity to do Freddie’s memory justice. One’s me, the other’s Tom Selleck.”

[Ads]

Big Sam today:

I'm having a little pink cupcake and a cup of tea. In a real china cup. I'm like Hyacinth fucking Bucket. Big Sam is as elegant as fuck.

He'd be perfect for Spain.

Its one of the funniest things on the internet, especially when you read it with his accent.

[Rip Van We Go Again]

My personal favourite

Phoned mother to tell her I loved her. She said she'd drawn my face on a bucket and she was taking a shit in it. She always ruins my buzz.

[Mazrim]

Lay off the drugs Sam!

On the contrary, take too many of them.

[Smithy]

My current favourite 'fake twitter celeb' is the cat in a bin lady.  Some of the older stuff is proper genius.


http://twitter.com/catbinlady/

[TheSandman]

Mr Modesty is at it again

Sky Sports Link

Sam Allardyce has defended his Newcastle United tenure ahead of Blackburn Rovers' trip to St James' Park on Wednesday night.

The Rovers tactician spent just eight months on Tyneside having built his reputation following an impressive eight-year spell with Bolton Wanderers.

Allardyce won just eight of his 24 games in charge of The Magpies losing 10 before being sacked after failing to win over the Newcastle faithful.

The 56-year-old insists he was not given enough time by the club's hierarchy, although he has no bitterness towards the club for how he was treated.
No bitterness

"I have proved most of the time that when I get a football club it improves from where it was," explained Allardyce.

"That was going be the case at Newcastle but I was not given enough time, but there is no bitterness towards the club.

"I'm not sure that apart from Arsene (Wenger) and Sir Alex (Ferguson) anyone else has managed at this level for as long as I have.

"I take a huge amount of pleasure in having been able to sustain my ability in the best league in the world."

Tactician? Allardyce?

[eamonn]

In fairness he didn't use that word. And fair fucks he's won up at his old club tonight, must be a sweet feeling for him. Good self-publicist though, yeah.