The transfer rumour bullshit-o-meter

[pauliewalnuts]

Whenever there's transfer rumours, there are certain elements which must appear at some point, whether it be in the media or on message boards or word of mouth, and which set the bullshit-o-meter going.

What are they? I'll start with

- Friend was doing some work on house belonging to player x, he's doing it up to sell it / house on market already

- Player wants to return to London

- Player was boyhood Spurs fan (doesn't matter if player is from Ulan Bator, he's still got to be a boyhood Spurs fan)

- Player spotted in hotel / airport in locality

- Player demanding crisis talks

[Rob Gee]

There seems to have been a huge increase of news coming through from 'mates working on Air Con systems' recently, normally at the relevant ground in question but also at hotels and player's homes.

I blame global warming.

[PeterWithe]

Player X has to move on as he's been banging a local Gangsters Moll and there will be claret spilled unless he's get off the manor.

 

[cheltenhamlion]

My mate is an estate agent and Player X bought a house in the locality the other day

I was getting some tickets/at the club shop the other day and saw Manager X on the car park

[Comrade Blitz]

Player is a complete ladyboy tosser and will sign with Man Utd

Player is from a country where Man Utd shirt sales are down

[GullyFoyle]

To go off on a slight tangent, I really hate that SSN phrase “We'll keep you across the news.”
Almost, but not quite, as bad as the word “Proactive.”

[KevinGage]

Mate works at a car dealership and *insert fictional player or manager here* told him...

Of course he did.

[citizenDJ]

I quite like the way that phraseology from the newspapers/SSN reporters etc has caught on, eg. 'My understanding is.....', 'I'm told that...' etc.

[Chris Smith]

On KRO is goes like this:

"My sister's a prossie and she was sucking off **** ***** who said he's signing for us tomorrow".