Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Jimmy Smash on March 07, 2012, 09:00:41 PM

Title: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Jimmy Smash on March 07, 2012, 09:00:41 PM
What 5 simple things should Randy next season do to win us all over again? They could be simple... they could be grand... they could include gestures... Here's mine.

1) Sack McLeish. We're going nowhere with him other than down. Put KMc and GC in until the end of the season. They couldnt do any worse. Choose his replacement carefully and don't blink 'til you've got your man. He needn't be Mourinho, but he needs to be talented and inspiring. Previous considerations need not apply.

2) Lower the price of season tickets/tickets. More bums on seats... more meat pies sold... better atmosphere etc.

3) Sort the home kit out. No squares... chevrons... stripes or non Villa colours. Ditto the away kit. Top tip... more people will buy the replica shirt if it is tasteful. And can we have our old badge back please?

4) Dump Heskey and learn the lessons well.

5) Sack Faulkner. He's not a football man, he's arrogant, doesn't know what he's doing and he's taking us on a road to nowhere. Appoint a football man... there must be a few around. Pay top dollar to get him. It will be worth it in the long run.


Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Ads on March 07, 2012, 09:03:31 PM
Buy me a new M3.

Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 07, 2012, 09:04:33 PM
1) Sign Messi
2) Sign Guardiola
3) Sign Iniesta
4) Sign that Tello fella while we're at it.
5) Make it a fiver in the ground.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: villajk on March 07, 2012, 09:05:13 PM
1) Sign Messi
2) Sign Guardiola
3) Sign Iniesta
4) Sign that Tello fella while we're at it.
5) Make it a fiver in the ground.

That should just about do it for me as well.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Ads on March 07, 2012, 09:05:41 PM
2. Make HBO film a new season of The Sopranos
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: joe_c on March 07, 2012, 09:06:26 PM
Sack McLeish next season y'say? And sack Faulkner next season as well?
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Holtemeister on March 07, 2012, 09:20:31 PM
Can we make it a rule on here that in future anyone calling for the head of the manager must give a credible alternative candidate who would be interested in taking on the job or be shot !!!
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: woody4866 on March 07, 2012, 09:21:33 PM
1) Sign Messi
2) Sign Guardiola
3) Sign Iniesta
4) Sign that Tello fella while we're at it.
5) Make it a fiver in the ground.

That should just about do it for me as well.
Yep, I think I could live with that, although regrettably I think it would mean the end of Hesky
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: villajk on March 07, 2012, 09:22:36 PM
1) Sign Messi
2) Sign Guardiola
3) Sign Iniesta
4) Sign that Tello fella while we're at it.
5) Make it a fiver in the ground.

That should just about do it for me as well.
Yep, I think I could live with that, although regrettably I think it would mean the end of Hesky

Oh dear.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: cdbearsfan on March 07, 2012, 09:27:31 PM
1. More lager
2. More pies
3. More shouting
4. A big banner with "Fuck Off Blues" written on it
5. Every fan to be given a drum
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 07, 2012, 09:27:56 PM
1) Sign Messi
2) Sign Guardiola
3) Sign Iniesta
4) Sign that Tello fella while we're at it.
5) Make it a fiver in the ground.

That should just about do it for me as well.
Yep, I think I could live with that, although regrettably I think it would mean the end of Hesky

Oh dear.

He can have a coaching role. Teach all the wannabe's the shuffle.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Chipsticks on March 07, 2012, 09:33:43 PM
1. More lager
2. More pies
3. More shouting
4. A big banner with "Fuck Off Blues" written on it
5. Every fan to be given a drum

Aside from number number 4, otherwise known as "The Bolton Approach"
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Nirog72 on March 07, 2012, 10:42:53 PM
1. Engage us - speak to us, ask and value our opinion and let us know what's going on
2. Appoint a couple of football people and lose a couple of non-fooball people
3. Keep giving opportunities to the kids who are good enough (or encouraging the manager to do so).
4. Have an identifiable approach to driving professional negativity out of the club - be it managers with a shit approach, players with a shit attitude or kit manufacturers that fail to turn out kits for purchase on time that weren't great to look at anyway.
5. Stop spending money on shit and then wondering why we are skint and then reacting in panic and then making shit decisions based on the opinion of a manager of another club because he's panicking and plunging us further into the shit.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Shoody on March 07, 2012, 10:50:18 PM
1. Sack McLeish
2. Hire Nigel Adkins
3. Hire Steve Stride & Graham Taylor onto the board
4. Invest in an international scouting network
5. Give me an Executive Box. For Life. For Free.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: German James on March 07, 2012, 11:14:42 PM
Randy should:
1) Put his left leg in
2) Put his left leg out
3) In, out,
4) In, out,
5) and he should undoubtedly shake it all about

If he doesn't fancy that, he could continue to ignore the hundreds of interchangeable internet threads.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Percy McCarthy on March 07, 2012, 11:31:32 PM
1. Yes Ads, another series (or two) of The Sopranos.
2. If we're that skint, maximise use of home-grown players wherever possible.
3. Improve scouting to get better kids and ready-made signings.
4. Employ a manager who will play technically sound attacking football.
5. Legalise smoking at Villa Park.
6. Give fanzine sellers those little huts that the programme sellers get.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Rip Van We Go Again on March 08, 2012, 07:17:53 AM
1. Sack McLeish
2. Find a buyer for the club
3. Find a buyer for the club
4. Find a buyer for the club
5. Stop wanking over that letter from Alex Ferguson, his dick must look like a 3 month old Peperami by now.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: nigel on March 08, 2012, 08:35:40 AM
What 5 simple things should Randy next season do to win us all over again? They could be simple... they could be grand... they could include gestures... Here's mine.

1) Sack McLeish. We're going nowhere with him other than down. Put KMc and GC in until the end of the season. They couldnt do any worse. Choose his replacement carefully and don't blink 'til you've got your man. He needn't be Mourinho, but he needs to be talented and inspiring. Previous considerations need not apply.

2) Lower the price of season tickets/tickets. More bums on seats... more meat pies sold... better atmosphere etc.

3) Sort the home kit out. No squares... chevrons... stripes or non Villa colours. Ditto the away kit. Top tip... more people will buy the replica shirt if it is tasteful. And can we have our old badge back please?

4) Dump Heskey and learn the lessons well.

5) Sack Faulkner. He's not a football man, he's arrogant, doesn't know what he's doing and he's taking us on a road to nowhere. Appoint a football man... there must be a few around. Pay top dollar to get him. It will be worth it in the long run.
Comment 5.
Jimmy Coombes springs to mind, ex Villa goalkeeper for those who don't know, done a fantastic job at LancashireCCC

Comment 3.
Which old badge would you go for?
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Phil from the upper holte on March 08, 2012, 09:00:34 AM
Get Graham Taylor on the board a Football man with Villa in his heart
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Brend'Watkins on March 08, 2012, 09:11:14 AM
1) Invent time travel
2) Return to 2006
3) Tell MON you will not give him complete control of the club
4) Make sure Young, Milner, Cahill, have buy out clauses of £100 million on their 8 year contracts.
5) Build a sizable trophy room.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on March 08, 2012, 09:32:10 AM
1. Get a manager that sends the team out to try to win every game with attacking football. We don't mind losing to better teams as long as we give them a game.
2. Get a football man in to look after the day to day running of the club.
3. Sell some proper beer inside the ground.
4. Make the Lower Holte a safe standing area.
5. Life bans for anyone singing that Paul McGrath song. It never was funny.
5a. Reopen The Aston Tavern.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: maidstonevillain on March 08, 2012, 09:39:43 AM
Randy should:
1) Put his left leg in
2) Put his left leg out
3) In, out,
4) In, out,
5) and he should undoubtedly shake it all about

If he doesn't fancy that, he could continue to ignore the hundreds of interchangeable internet threads.


Off topic..

That's at least seven things
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Billy Walker on March 08, 2012, 09:42:20 AM
1. Get a manager that sends the team out to try to win every game with attacking football. We don't mind losing to better teams as long as we give them a game.
2. Get a football man in to look after the day to day running of the club.
3. Sell some proper beer inside the ground.
4. Make the Lower Holte a safe standing area.
5. Life bans for anyone singing that Paul McGrath song. It never was funny.

All great points TLP, except that bit in bold.   This is Aston Villa and the aim of the game, surely, is that we are one of the better teams?

I would just like to see Randy hand over custodianship of the club to people who can get us winning again.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Zhong Yi on March 08, 2012, 06:37:49 PM
play Inter Milan every season
appoint Prince William as director of football
appoint David Cameron as gaffer
David Cameron and Prince William make John Gregory a 00 agent with eyes only mission to shoot Alex McLeish
Make Davenports the shirt sponsors again
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Lowendbehold on March 08, 2012, 08:05:17 PM
If anyone thinks Randy should sell, be careful what you wish for.

Just watched The Four Year Plan on iPlayer.  The story of QPR under Flavio Briatori, Bernie Ecclestone, Paladini, Aggag and the Mittal brothers.  A great fly on the wall football documentary that should be essential viewing for every football fan.

The Mittal brothers who took control, but then lost it to Fernandes came out with great credit.  Let's hope Briatore never gets anywhere near the Villa.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Legion on March 08, 2012, 08:05:45 PM
Better the devil you know?
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Rob92 on March 08, 2012, 08:16:40 PM
I agree about the badge... The current one is still shite...
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Doorbell on March 08, 2012, 08:25:17 PM
Appoint a DoF with a long term plan and style for the club.

Get board members with football nouce.

Improve our scouting network significantly.

Sell the Cleveland Browns and concentrate solely on the villa.

Start a genetic engineering and cloning programme to unleash an army of super soldier footballers.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 08, 2012, 08:42:44 PM
Randy should go to the Sty on a goodwill visit. He falls down the stairs of their derelict stadium and sues small heath for millions. We spend the millions on players while they go into administration. An all round winning situation. 
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: DeKuip on March 09, 2012, 02:03:31 AM
1. Remind all coaching staff that we can watch shit football for free in the local park
2. Remind all players that for the money they earn they are expected to be able to control, pass and shoot on target
3. Plant a row of fast growing conifers in front of the away section
4. Play Ajax away every pre-season
5. Buy Sunderland, just for a laugh!
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: nigel on March 09, 2012, 11:30:50 AM
(http://)
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: MadJohnnyC on March 09, 2012, 01:26:10 PM
1.) Reduce beer prices in the ground to an absolute maximum of £2.50 a pint
2.) Apologise for ignoring every single one of his paying customers
3.) Stop selling our best player every summer and instead buying somebody to keep them here
4.) Dangle a cheque for a million pounds over St Andrews in his private helicopter and film all the noses jumping up to try and grab it - video then to be posted on youtube.
5.) Make all stands in Villa Park the same ticket price, its personal preference whether you want to sing or sit with your families price should not dictate where you sit
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Fred on March 09, 2012, 01:44:15 PM
Appoint Sir Graham Taylor to the board. A decent football man and he has the best intrest of the club at heart. Would not be a threat to any manager and would be able to advise Mr lerner. Sir Graham as Chairman and Lerner as club owner would be great.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: The Man With A Stick on March 09, 2012, 02:28:55 PM
1.  Ban tractors from all roads during daylight hours
2.  Bring in a nationwide "one-child limit" policy
3.  Put snipers on motorway bridges for anyone who drives like a twat
4.  Make it legal to kill anyone who does that awful raised inflection thing at the end of a sentence (usually students or recent graduates) that makes them sound like an Australian
5.  Appoint Terry Nutkins to the board of directors
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: MadJohnnyC on March 09, 2012, 02:30:58 PM

4.  Make it legal to kill anyone who does that awful raised inflection thing at the end of a sentence (usually students or recent graduates) that makes them sound like an Australian


Amen to that !!
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Damo70 on March 09, 2012, 02:50:16 PM
Take us back to the happy days of the early eighties by -

Bringing back Ron Saunders as manager (he's still as scary as ever)
Re-renaming the Witton Lane stand
Introducing 1980's ticket, food, drink and programme prices
Bring back Tiswas on Saturday mornings
Bring back Starsky And Hutch on Saturday nights
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on March 09, 2012, 03:32:14 PM
1. Hire David O Leary.
2. Sack David O Leary and tell him it was all a joke at his expense; pug nosed buffoon.
3. Insist that away teams play in Man Yoo's invisble grey strip from 1996.
4. Have a lottery at half time where the winner comes on and plays the last 5 minutes up front.
5. Introduce a Farting Section in the ground where the people with the most malodourous guffs can sit (silent 'h')and compare notes.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: mikeb1982 on March 09, 2012, 03:38:39 PM
1. Hire David O Leary.
2. Sack David O Leary and tell him it was all a joke at his expense; pug nosed buffoon.
3. Insist that away teams play in Man Yoo's invisble grey strip from 1996.
4. Have a lottery at half time where the winner comes on and plays the last 5 minutes up front.
5. Introduce a Farting Section in the ground where the people with the most malodourous guffs can sit (silent 'h')and compare notes.
I think that's close to where I sit, judging by the oderous niffs
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on March 10, 2012, 08:40:57 AM
Take us back to the happy days of the early eighties by -

Bringing back Ron Saunders as manager (he's still as scary as ever)
Re-renaming the Witton Lane stand
Introducing 1980's ticket, food, drink and programme prices
Bring back Tiswas on Saturday mornings
Bring back Starsky And Hutch on Saturday nights
So you want another ex Blose manager. Wont you ever learn?
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Dave Clark Five on March 10, 2012, 11:35:35 AM

4.  Make it legal to kill anyone who does that awful raised inflection thing at the end of a sentence (usually students or recent graduates) that makes them sound like an Australian.
This should also apply to those who say 'can I get ..' when at a counter. They know they are doing it as, instead of ordering two drinks at once, they say 'can I get a lager', wait for it to be served then say 'can I get another lager'.
This makes them sound American.
Title: Re: 5 Things Randy Should Do to Make it Right
Post by: Jimmy Smash on March 10, 2012, 12:28:20 PM
Or calling the local polytechnic "Uni."
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